Nothing better on a cool autumn night...

Is it bad that I treat my children as teddy bears/bed warmers? I just love nothing better on a cold night then grabbing a warm cuddly little bundle of sleeping baby and pulling it in close to me. I love the way their hair smells and the sound of their breathing. I feel safe, and not only that, I know they are safe, close to me.

Now, for some reason I have a lot of friends who won't admit they sleep with their kids. Or, if they do admit it, there is always a caveat telling people not to worry because it's only in the mornings or occasionally when everyone was too tired to go back to their own beds. Did I miss some piece of common knowledge that says that sleeping with your babies is almost as bad as driving without a car seat? I would like to publicly state that I have my babies sleep with me. I don't worry about rolling over onto them in the middle of the night for the same reason I don't worry that I will roll on top of Ontario or suddenly fall off the bed. Even when I am sleeping, I know where I am, and I know who is nearby. I don't worry about them suffocating on the blankets. They are tucked in close to me and I keep the blankets off their faces. Our sleep patterns match each other, so we naturally wake up at the same times. I can hear when they start making the first little sounds of hunger, so I can feed them before it becomes a screaming match and we are both completely awake and cranky. I sleep so much better, knowing where they are, knowing they feel safe, and not having to miss my babies all night.

I know some people don't sleep with their kids because they don't get a good nights rest. They wake up whenever the baby makes a sound, or they worry to much about the baby getting hurt to relax and go to sleep. That is fine. I think people should sleep in whatever arrangement lets everyone in the house get the most rest. But if you secretly enjoy it when your baby somehow makes their way into your bed, don't feel ashamed or like you are breaking some rule. Just enjoy it, and give that baby all the cuddles it wants.

And now, I am going to go snuggle under my blankets with my sweet little Tommy boy and head off to dreamland...

Cutest, saddest story ever

Tonight Heidi and I were watching "House". It was a very sad episode where an epidemic spread through the maternity ward, making a lot of babies sick. Gabe woke up in the middle of the episode, and came and sat on my lap. Just then they showed one of the babies in the intensive care with all the cords and monitors attached to it. As soon as Gabe saw it his mouth turned down, and he started to cry. When the baby went off screen, he stopped. Every time he saw a sick baby, he would start to cry again. He even had tears. It was the cutest thing! Heidi and I were both crying too, so we were all sitting there feeling so sad for those sick babies. I didn't realize my toddler was so sympathetic.

Waiting...

Well, it is now Tuesday, January 20 (almost the 21) and this baby still has not arrived. I actually started early labor on Friday, and I have been having contractions steadily-ish for the last 5 days. But have I gone into active labor? Does it feel like this baby will ever arrive? Have I decided that I will in fact be pregnant forever? No to the first two, and a resounding yes to the third. I am just at home, surrounded by loving family all waiting anxiously for this joyous event, and NOTHING IS HAPPENING. I know perfectly well that due dates are not written in stone, and that children arrive when they are good and ready. So why does it keep faking me out with contractions and losing my plug and other signs of labor? I'm just so excited to meet this baby, and not very patient about waiting for it to arrive. Hopefully next time I post it will be a birth announcement. And it will be tomorrow.

5 Day Countdown

So, I am due on Saturday, which all of a sudden seems very close. And also very far. I still feel like I have a lot to do (probably because I do) but also like I am very ready to meet this tiny new member of our family. Also to get my lungs back. I can't bend over any more.

Here are some of the things I need to do in the next two days (my sweet mother-in-law arrives Wednesday night, which means I need to have this all ready before then).
-Rearranging all the furniture in my house. That seems a little extreme, but we have to fit two more people in for a couple of weeks, so there is some serious shifting that needs to take place
-Cleaning and rearranging the storage closet. This also has to do with fitting everyone in.
-Redoing my control journal. That's basically the place I keep a list of everything important that I need to remember. I want to have it set up so that while I am recovering, the household will keep running and people can just refer to that. It's mostly a lot of typing and paperwork.
-Getting the final preparations done on my birth kit.
-Cleaning my house.

In and amongst all this I have a bunch of other commitments in my neighborhood and for my calling. I really don't mind...it helps the time pass more quickly. I just hope the baby comes at the right time. Saturday would be good. Not too soon, not too late. Gabe came right on his due date, so hopefully this child will be as prompt. Anyone want to guess on whether it's a boy or a girl?

Speaking of Gabe, he figured out how to twirl this morning. He was spinning in circles in the kitchen while I was making breakfast. It was very cute. We also went to Borders tonight and he was laughing so loudly at a Thomas the Tank Engine coloring book I was afraid he was going to disturb the rest of the customers. I have no idea what the joke was. He also started covering his mouth with his hand and snickering. It was really cute.

I love my life. I feel so blessed and happy. I don't know what I did to deserve this, but man I am grateful. :)

Hurray for a positive attitude!

I thought today was going to be stressful and chaotic. I didn't do my before bed routine last night, and I got to bed really late. Add to that waking up at 3:00am to take Krissie and Aaron to the airport, and then waking up to a sink of dirty dishes, I was sure that I would be too tired and stressed to deal with the day.

However...

My husband woke me up before he left for work so we could have family scriptures. I got dressed and decided that even if it started late, I could still have a good day. I did go back to bed for a little while, but I woke up when Gabe woke up and started talking to me. We have some very nice morning conversations. We went upstairs, had breakfast, I took all my supplements, and then we cleaned the kitchen. Gabe helped me with sweeping and dishes, which he thought was great. We need to get him a little broom so he can help me more often. I talked to my sister while I cleaned, so it was fun for me as well. Also, I feel good knowing that I didn't let the inauspicious beginning determine the tone for the day. I actually think it's going to be a great day!

Now I am going to write a to-do list and a shopping list, cycle the laundry, and make sure I am ready to run errands this afternoon when Ontario comes to get me. Then I might lay down and take a little nap until he gets here. I think I've earned it.

Random morning thoughts

It is currently 6:38 am, and I am sitting in my dark quiet living room enjoying the lights on the Christmas tree. I love this season. It makes me happy just thinking about all the wonderful things it brings. I like how everyone is focused on service and looking for ways to help others.

Our house is still a little crazy as we are trying to get Heidi settled in, but I think most of the major stuff should be taken care of today. I am mostly concerned about Evan getting his bed fixed so it is no longer in my kitchen. Once that happens I think the rest of the house will be able to come together. I can finish decorating, get all the laundry finished, and start my Christmas planning. I know it's a little late for that, things have just been so crazy and up in the air with Tari's work that I haven't known who/what/or how much I was planning for. Now that I have a budget it makes things much easier!

Yesterday in Primary one of the little boys got very excited during sharing time. He wanted everyone to know that he was reading the Book of Mormon, and he had gotten almost to the book of Helium. It was so funny. I love serving there. I always learn something new.

I am mostly sitting here hoping I will get sleepy enough that I can catch another hour of sleep before I need to get up. I had to take Tari to school this morning, which meant waking up at 5:40. That wouldn't have been too bad, if I had been able to get to sleep before 2. Gabe woke up right as I was drifting off around 1 and insisted on screaming and thrashing around for an hour before going back down. I think he must not be feeling well, because he usually has an easier time sleeping than that. It's just been somewhat of a crazy night.

It's crazy to think that we only have 5 more weeks before the baby gets here. I need to hurry up and get my house ready. I have been so focused on Christmas, and moving people around, and new callings that I haven't realized how little time I have left to finish preparing. I think that's nice in a way though...it helps the time go faster.

Since we decided not to find out the sex of the baby this time around, it's been a little trickier deciding on names. We pretty have a boys name agreed on (amazing, since I have the hardest time thinking of boys names I like. Maybe it's because there are so few of them that it narrows it down really quickly) and there are quite a few girls names we have talked about, but nothing definite in that area. It's so exciting thinking about meeting this person for the first time, and finding out just who they are. I can't wait. Also, this baby likes to kick and poke out a LOT, so I won't mind getting to cuddle it externally for a change.

Weaning time

So, the time has come at last to wean Gabriel. We started about a week ago and things are going pretty well. I think it's obvious my body was done, since I haven't had any engorgement at all, even though we have cut him down pretty drastically from nursing whenever to maybe once a day. I guess the pregnancy hormones have pretty much shut down milk production. Luckily, he has taken well to a bottle (Raw goats milk, rice bran syrup, and molasses. Glad it's not me drinking it) and hasn't been too upset when we have had to say no to nursing. He slept through the night two nights ago, but last night was up and down quite a bit. It never mattered before because I didn't have to wake up to feed him, but now I am grateful for every time he settles back down without a bottle!

In baby news, we found out that our insurance WOULD pay for it, although with many warnings about it being out of network, a non provider, and probably horribly dangerous. Also many warnings that the deductible would be $3000, as opposed to $1500. That wasn't ever really an issue though, since we won't even hit the lesser deductible, with all costs included. Still....it's nice to know that it's taken care of, and we can use our other money for a new computer, since ours died and I have to use Tari's school laptop that has to be returned soon. 

I've been feeling incredibly pregnant lately, and am starting to waddle. Also, I am hungry all the time while feeling very full. Our kids always seem to sit right up inside, snuggled in amongst my internal organs. Not very comfortable. This one isn't too big yet though, so it isn't really bad. They are still in the acrobatic flipping around and practicing kickboxing moves stage. I actually love this part of pregnancy. It's so amazing feeling someone growing inside of you!

Gabe is doing great, apart from the weaning. He has anywhere from 3-5 teeth. He won't ever let me look to get an accurate count, and it's hard to guess from feeling (which he also hates). He is going to be a jack-o-lantern though, since none of them are in the usual first teeth places. He has two for sure on the bottom, on the left side. Then he has one, possibly two canines on the top. I can't wait till they get a little bigger and you can really see them when he smiles. 

In other news, Tari and I have to give talks on Sunday about preparing for General Conference. Any suggestions on what your favorite way to get ready is?