Wednesday, February 1, 2017

Looking for Mom Jeans...

So, I recently had my sixth baby, go me! It was an awesome labor and birth, and I am loving my little snuggle bug. However, I am now facing the same problem I always have when pregnant: clothes.

Here is how it works: I have a couple of pairs of pants, that fit okay, but aren't really flattering, and/or have stains, holes, or rips. I also have shirts (more than pants, but still not a huge selection) that I mostly have inherited from other people, that are *fine* but also usually have holes and stains. Most of what I have that is cute or stylish are gifts from other people. I think, "I need to buy some new clothes" and then I find out I'm pregnant. Then I say, "Well, I'm not going to go buy new pants now, I'm going to have to switch to maternity clothes soon!" For the record, most of my maternity clothes are cuter than my regular wardrobe. Although this time around, I think the fact that it was my 6th pregnancy is showing, because my maternity clothes are also really hammered. I have maybe one pair of maternity pants left that don't have huge holes in the butt or waistband. Anyway, then I have the baby and I just wear pajamas for a few weeks, which is awesome. THEN I decide, "It's time to start wearing real person clothes again!" and I go to pull out my pre pregnancy wardrobe and I find...sadness. I only have those clothes that I was wearing to get my by until I switched to maternity things. I literally had a sweet old woman tell me she wished that could also get out and garden, because it was apparent from what I was wearing that I had just been doing some hard manual labor that required using my grubby clothes. And then I had to explain that no, this is just what I wore all the time. Cue the "womp-womp" music.

Pre baby I had been trying to decide what to do, and I discovered capsule wardrobes. I love the concept, and think that it is my solution to attempting to look somewhat put together. Here is my problem. I will start by saying I am not a clothes horse, nor a shopaholic. I do not buy clothes (almost ever) and don't have closets overflowing with tons of cute things that just don't work for me. When I went through and Kon-Mari'd my clothes, I got rid of everything that didn't spark joy. Then I had to go through and pull some of it back out, because I quite literally would have been naked. This is not a case of needing to go through and pare down to my essentials, I don't HAVE essentials. Also, I am really bad at accessorizing, wearing make up, and doing my hair in cute styles. I have 6 boys (yes, all of my kids are of the male persuasion) and I barely have time to shower on a regular basis. I need clothes that all match, that fit in my small closet, and that flatter me without me putting any thought or effort into it.

This brings me to my jeans issue, and the main topic of this post. I am 33, soon to be 34. I have had SIX kids. My body does not look like it did when I was 24. I am fine with that! I actually really hate our cultures focus on "getting your pre-baby body back!" because I think that we should celebrate the changes that come from becoming a mother, and recognize that it will leave physical marks. My hips are higher than they used to be. I have more curves, and I am rounder. I don't desire to change all that. I DO desire to find pants that @*&#$T FIT. I am willing to pay more money a few times to buy something that I love, and can wear often, instead of shelling out $20 repeatedly for something that will wear out and not be flattering after 3 washes. So, please help me out here. This is what I am looking for:

1. Fit. I have more curves now, and I have always been more on the bootylicious side of things. I want something that does not cut into my waist, or give me a muffin top.

2. A basic, good wash. No whiskering, no distressing, no weird embellishments. I don't need giant holes, I already have pants with holes.

3. I want something that will maintain it's flexibility and not get all saggy after being worn for an hour. I hate having to constantly adjust my pants.

I just want good mom jeans. Is that so much to ask? I want a couple of pairs of jeans, probably one straight leg and one boot cut, and maybe one pair of jeggings I can wear with boots. I'm going to have to stop wearing pajamas soon, and I don't having anything to wear. Send me your recommendations!

Wednesday, September 4, 2013

Birth Story of James Harrison

I think this story really begins on Thursday, August 22. My friend Heidi Moellmann had come into town two weeks earlier to attend the birth. She was my doula at each of my other births, so it was really nice to have her here for this one as well. Even better than I was expecting, it turned out. We had spent the previous two weeks finishing up birth prep (cleaning and organizing, buying and prepping food, and trying to squeeze in a little bit of of touristy things, since she had never been to New York before). We still hadn't really gotten to see the city, so we decided that Thursday we would head into Manhattan and see some of the sights. We invited our friends Heather and Alberto Cruz to come with us, which was great. It was nice to have a bigger balance of kids to adults. It ended up being 6 kids and 5 adults, which seemed like just barely a good enough ratio.

We rode the train in and got off at Lincoln Center. We had a bit of a break at the LDS Stake Center by the temple, and then walked into Central Park. It started raining, so we didn't spend as much time there as we would have liked. We quickly made our way to FAO Schwartz, and that was one of the funnest parts of the day. It doesn't matter how many times I go, that is just a really cool store. I think it would be fun to explore sometime without kids. Does that sound terrible? Anyway, by the time we were done there, everyone was really tired and ready for food. Unfortunately we couldn't find a place to stop until we had made it to Rockefeller Center, but we stopped at the food court there and everyone got time to just sit and relax. It was while we were eating that I had my first real contraction. It wasn't too hard or long, it just felt different from all the ones I had been having leading up to it. I could tell it was more effective, if that makes sense. Everyone had been asking me how I was feeling all day, and honestly I felt fine. The worst part was how sore my feet got, but that happens every time we go to Manhattan, not just when I'm 9 months pregnant.

We got home and everyone just decompressed for a little while. We had a yummy dinner (cafe rio style pulled pork over rice w/ cilantro lime dressing. We made it in the crockpot that morning, so it was all ready when we got back. Best decision ever!). I knew everyone was going to be completely wiped out from the day, so we decided that Friday would be a pretty chill day. There were one or two errands I needed to run, but aside from that we planned to keep it very low key.

Friday the 23rd was his due date, but I wasn't really expecting him to come then. I had a few more contractions during the night, but nothing that seemed to be really kicking into gear. Ontario was so excited at the thought that I MIGHT be in labor that he woke up at 3:30 am and couldn't go back to sleep. So he got up and did some work and then did some jobs around the house. Heidi and I spent the day working on different things (finally getting my bedroom organized, cleaning, putting the upstairs bathroom together, etc.). I also wanted to run to Costco and buy some fruit and other perishables we were low on. I decided I wanted Ontario to go with me so if I did have contractions, I would have him there to help me through them. I had been having them throughout the day, but once again they weren't THAT hard or consistent. It was definitely still early labor.

When we got back Ontario laid down and fell asleep (no surprise after his early morning) and I couldn't get him to wake up for dinner. However, I would rather have him well rested, so I didn't worry about it too much. Heidi and I fed the boys and then we gave everyone melatonin and put them to bed. The only exception was Gabriel, because he wanted to help me finish my birth collage. He came and helped us with the final prep. Ontario woke up around 8:00 pm and we all worked on getting the room put together. I put up a big collage on the wall across from the bed with pictures, scriptures, photos, and drawings that all helped me focus on what I wanted this birth to be. I had photos of all the boys from when they were first born, pictures of me as a baby, pictures of my mom and grandma, scriptures that have impacted me as I have been preparing, images of Christ, the temple, beautiful landscapes, and anything else that I thought would help me focus. We got done right around 9:00 pm.

Tari strung up big strands of twinkle lights around the room so we could have soft lighting. He and Gabe had also been working on a project of making a masking tape mural on the wall. There is a certain room in our dream house that I would always use for my visualizations, so Ontario created that for me out of masking tape to help me feel like I was really there. It was cute.

We still had a few jobs to do (just final cleaning and organizing in the house) but I really wanted everyone to get a good nights sleep. The contractions were still spotty and didn't seem like anything was happening. We decided to all go to bed, and then when we woke up in the morning we could quickly finish the cleaning, and then go to Wave Hill. I figured walking around would help the contractions get going again, and it seemed like a nice place to finish early labor. If things were picking up we could drop the boys at the Cruz's, and if not at least they would have a place to run around and not mess up the house.

I laid down around 10:00 pm and tried to fall asleep. I was really tired, so I was ready for bed. Ontario laid down with me and we both tried to sleep, but he was still pretty awake from his four hour nap. Finally at 11:00 pm he decided to go downstairs and eat some dinner to see if that would help him fall asleep. However, I couldn't really get comfortable. I was still having contractions occasionally, and they were hard enough that I couldn't really sleep through them. I tried listening to my Hypnobabies deepening script, but I was so sleepy I wasn't able to really get into hypnosis before another contraction would come and be pretty painful. I was trying to relax through them but it wasn't going well.

Around midnight I got up to go to the bathroom. By this time I was feeling really sore, and pretty helpless. I didn't want to be awake all night, since I didn't want to be tired when I went into active labor. I went downstairs and told Ontario that I needed a blessing, and a hypnobabies script, and someone to time the contractions. I wasn't sure how close together they were since I was trying to sleep through them. I just wanted to know if they were contractions that I should keep trying to sleep through, or if I needed to wake up enough to focus on them.

He came upstairs and checked me (I wasn't dilated at all) and then he gave me a blessing. It was wonderful, and helped me feel better about everything. One of the things he said was that it would be a very spiritual birth, for me and the baby. It encouraged me to read my scriptures during the labor. Then we decided to time the contractions. They were ranging anywhere from 30 seconds to a minute long, but they were coming every 2 1/2 minutes, and they were pretty hard. By this time it was around 1:00 am. We decided to call the midwives and give them a heads up. Ontario talked to Anne and told her I wasn't dilated but I was in active labor. Since all of my labors have gotten progressively longer, and I wasn't really dilated, we figured it would still be awhile.

By this time I was feeling pretty helpless. I didn't think I was handling the surges well, and I didn't know if I would be able to keep going at that pace all night. I was still really tired, and I was having a hard time relaxing and not tensing up with the pain. I did keep going to the bathroom and having small bowel movements, and some red mucous, so that gave me hope that things were progressing. After he talked to Anne I decided to sit in the rocking chair facing my collage so I could read the scriptures whenever I got a moment.

Tari started reading me a script. I don't remember which one it was, or what phrase he used, but there was something in it that talked about visualizing opening up. After that whenever I had a surge I would really visualize the baby moving down and pressing on the cervix to open it. I could FEEL how effective that was, and I felt like each pressure wave was really doing something. It made it easier to handle, even though they were still pretty painful. After a little bit I decided I wanted to get in the shower to see if that would help me relax and handle the pain better. Tari woke up Heidi to let her know I was in active labor, and then we went downstairs.

The bathroom in the basement has an extra large shower with a bench and glass door, which is why we went down there. I got in and the water felt nice, but I could not find a comfortable position to be in for the pressure waves. Every time I would have one I would struggle trying to find the best place to be. I ended up doing a lot of squatting.  I told Tari I thought we should call the midwives, so he gave Anne another call and told her to head over. He also called our friend Roxanne who we had invited to be at the birth so she could come over. It was almost 2:00 am at that time. He was going to get in with me, but the shower wasn't as soothing as I had hoped so I decided to get out.

By that time I was starting to feel pushy. I couldn't tell if it was really time to push, or if I was just so tired of being in labor that I was forcing myself to push the baby out before I was ready. I got out of the shower and had a pressure wave. I was planning to go back upstairs, but then I had to go to the bathroom and I had another surge. At that point I realized there was no way I could make it up two flights of stairs. I told Heidi, "Get some chux pads and a towel" and then Ontario helped me get off the toilet into a squatting position. Heidi was back downstairs in a flash with the stuff, and I crouched down with Ontario supporting me. Heidi told me to squat so she would have room to catch the baby, and then I could feel him crowning. I gave one push, and I thought his head came out, but then I could still feel him in the birth canal. Heidi told me he was still in the sack. I looked down and saw the bag of waters lying on teh towel, so that was obviously what I had pushed out first, thinking it was his head. I did another push, but I was careful not to push too fast so I wouldn't tear. Once his face was out Heidi used the towel to rub the sack and clear it off his face. Then he was all the way out and she handed him up to me. I could see some meconium and he wasn't crying a lot right at first. We started rubbing his back with a towel, and then Tari gave him a blessing and commanded him to breathe. Right away he let out a loud cry and he was fine after that. There wasn't a clock in the bathroom, so our best guess is that he was born around 2:10 am on Saturday, August 24th. The crazy thing is that he is our third kid to be born on the 24th! Apparently we like to stick with the one birthday. :)

Heidi and James. We were lucky she was there to catch him!

I sat on the floor for a little while just rubbing his back and trying to get him to nurse, but he wasn't really interested. Roxanne showed up then, and we woke up Gabe so he could come down and see the baby. He had wanted to be be there for the birth, but I think it worked out that he just got to be there immediately afterwards. After a few minutes I felt strong enough to go upstairs. Tari helped me up to our room, and I was able to lay down, which was nice. Right around that time Anne showed up. She was able to deliver the placenta, and she checked to make sure everything was good. I didn't tear at all (yay!) so I didn't need stitches. I also didn't tear with Asher, so I knew that would make recovery much easier! Gabe cut the cord, which I think he found a little more disturbing than he had planned. He had to go take a breather after that, and I don't blame him. I think he liked being able to help though.

Mommy and James

He had started nursing by this time, and Nancy and Kharis, the assistants had arrived. They were able to fill out all the info, and help get everything cleaned up. It was actually quite a tidy birth, I am sure because it was so fast! Gabe got to come help weigh and measure the baby (7 lbs, 7 oz., 19.5 inches long, and his head circumference was 13.5 inches. I was able to go take a shower while they were doing his vitals, and that felt great. I think around 4:30 am everyone took off and we all settled down and went to sleep.

This birth was so different than my previous births. WAY faster, for starters. I was so relieved that it was over so quickly, since I had been feeling so helpless and tired. Looking back I can see that I was in transition, but since I wasn't expecting it to happen so quickly, I couldn't recognize it at the time. Despite being tired and in pain, I wasn't ever scared or worried. When I knew it was time to push, I just felt really peaceful and confident. Heidi told us later that she had a dream where she delivered the baby, exactly like it happened. Obviously Heavenly Father is taking care of us, and had a plan in mind for us the whole time. I feel really happy and blessed with how James's birth went. It certainly wasn't what I was expecting, but I think it was better. I knew I was in a much better place mentally, physically, emotionally and spiritually. I have been reading, "The Gift of Giving Life" and it has been so helpful in figuring out what preparation I wanted/needed to do. I think it's one of the main reasons this birth went so well. I wouldn't change anything about it.

Gabe holding James. He loves this baby so much!

Monday, November 19, 2012


So, one of the blogs I love is posting a giveaway of one week at their beautiful vacation home in France. It is such a gorgeous area, and the house is amazing. You should definitely check it out! Just click on the link to see the details on her blog!

Wednesday, September 5, 2012

Gift Ideas for Kids

I was just thinking about what the best gifts are for the first few years of life. As a mom with three small kids, I feel like we have plenty of toys. So I try to think of gifts to give that are:

1. Non-cluttery
2. Useful or disposable
3. Something that kids love
4. Cost effective

So far I have a pretty solid plan for the first few birthdays, but I am still thinking on it. I am sure my list will continue to grow as my kids get older. So here is what I have so far:

First birthday: A helium balloon. It doesn't have to be a fancy milar balloon, just a balloon that floats. This makes every 1 year old I have ever met happy. Plus, it eventually loses air and can just be thrown away.

Second birthday: Tape or bandaids. (I got this idea from Those are both things that little kids LOVE to use, but are usually restricted in. 

Third birthday: Small flashlight. All kids love flashlights, but once again it's something they usually aren't allowed to use. Also, as a parent I like having extra flashlights on hand, so it's not something that I am annoyed to make room for in our home.

Fourth birthday: Art supplies or real kid size tools (small shovel, kid scissors, etc). It helps them explore their creativity, and once again it's something that is useful to have. 

Fifth birthday: Disposeable camera. It's really fun to give kids a camera and see the world through their eyes. This does have the stress of getting it developed, but if there is a walmart near you that isn't too bad. And it's just fun to let them be in charge and see what "develops" (sorry, couldn't help myself).

So, what are your go-to kid gifts? Any suggestions or ideas to add?

Thursday, December 1, 2011

Funny things from our life...

The other day Gabe wanted to finish watching "White Christmas" when he got home from school. I asked him to please wait, because Tommy and Asher were both asleep on the couch and I didn't want the tv to wake them up. Gabe got really upset and told me, "you are just breaking down my heart!" Another time I was getting something out of the office and I saw Gabe's teddy, Baby Bear behind some boxes. I yelled "Daddy! Daddy!" in the highest, whiniest voice I could (my best impersonation of the voice Gabe uses for Baby Bear). Gabe immediately came running up the stairs yelling, "I'm coming sweetheart!" and Tommy from the other room said, "Baby Bear? Is he okay?" I thought it was hilarious that they both instantly recognized the voice of baby bear. Tommy loves to play Spiderman. Only, I don't think he actually knows who Spiderman is. In his world, Spiderman is the bad guy, and he is always chasing Gabe or Asher around. He puts on his toughest scary face and growls, "I'm spiderman!" It's pretty funny to watch.

Thursday, September 22, 2011

Eternal Droning of the Endless Whine

Tonight we had a somewhat rough bedtime. It got started a little late, I was already tired, and the boys weren't listening super well. When I asked Gabe what song he wanted, he asked for, "Down By the Bay", which wasn't surprising since that has been his pick for, no joke, the last three months. Are you familiar with it? It goes,

 Down by the bay 
Where the watermelons grow 
Back to my home 
I dare not go 
For if I do 
My mamma will say 
"Have you ever seen a whale with a polka dot tale?" 
Down by the bay!

 And so on, inserting various silly rhymes for the last part. After we sang a few verses of that, I asked Tommy what bedtime song he wanted. He asked for the dragon song. This also happens to be, "Down by the Bay" but with modified lyrics by Ontario, as follows:

 Down by Dragon bay 
Where the dragons grow 
Back to my home
I dare not go 
For if I do 
Mamma dragon will say 
"Have you ever seen a cat, wearing a hat?" 
Down by dragon bay! 

So I sang a few verses of that. Then the endless whining started. Gabe was so upset that I sang him "Down by the Bay" when what he really wanted was, "Down by Dragon Bay". The conversation went something like this:

 G: "Mom, you just did something that wasn't very nice"
M: "I did? What was that?"
G: "You sang Down by the Bay, but I wanted Down by DRAGON bay"
M: "Well, I just sang that"
G: "But you just sang that first and you missed your chance to be nice and sing the song I wanted!"
M: "Gabe, you asked for Down by the Bay, and then I sang both of them, so you got to hear it"
G: "I just asked for Down by the Bay as a joke! But then you SANG it!"
M: "Well, you didn't tell me it was a joke, you just asked for it"
G: "But if you don't do what I say and be nice and make me happy, then I will just say that I hate you!" M: "I will be sad if you say you hate me, but it's still time for bed."
G: grumble grumble *endless whining* mumble dragon bay mumble I just didn't WANT that grumble mumble you just shouldn't have DONE it mumble mumble....

Only, make this whole conversation continue for another 20 minutes. This was also after our conversation earlier today when I told him we were going to do a fun activity after lunch and he came slumping into the kitchen saying, "Just whoever cares what you say!" Yeah, I don't have a four year old. I have a teenager.

Saturday, September 3, 2011


I just came across this talk in my personal study, and I was really touched by it. I have a lot of friends and family members that can relate to this in many different ways. I love the clear doctrine that he teaches, and the reminder of the work we are doing when we are serving the handicapped. I would really encourage you to read this talk, it's awesome. The Moving of the Waters by Elder Boyd K. Pcker.